Broken Friendship...

Today, I want to talk about friendships...about a friendship that's been broken lately...

It never ceases to amaze me how sometimes friendships are so easily established by stangers or how fragile and easily broken a friendship is.  Some friendships survive distance and time. Some friendships get broken because of other people.  Some friendships have to be kept a secret so as not to annoy your significant other half. 

Some friendships however get broken because of old habits that are impossible to break.  This was what happened to this friendship.

Friendships are supposed to be a balance of give and take.  When all you do is take, the day will come when you have taken too much and there is no more left to take.  When all you do is give, one day you will find that you have nothing to give anymore.  Or worse, you get fed up and not want to give anymore.

But as always, when something involves two people, both sides will have different views of what happened.  Of course, it is hard to accept that you are wrong and the other is right. Especially when you are in the wrong...

I feel that I have given enough in this friendship. Since you have never, did not, still do not  and will not in the future appreciate or value my friendship, then I say this to you : 

I have had enough and I do not want to be friends anymore.

So goodbye!

Reflections

I have been wondering why I had been feeling disheartened all day... I was sorting through my beads stash trying to clear my mental block when I realised I have been feeling disheartened since yesterday when I saw a post by a friend on Facebook.  

This is what was posted 'Being a mum makes a woman complete.' 

When I saw this post, a momentary flicker of doubt went through my head. Am I not a complete woman then because I have no children?

Quite quickly though that doubt vanished!!!  :-)   Instead of feeling doubt, the feeling of sadness overcame me. Not because I am not a 'complete' woman but because some women, no matter how modern they think they are, are still caged by the belief that women are not 'complete' until they have gone through all the stages of womanhood : girl, woman, wife, mother and possibly grandmother.

I am very sure that my friend didn't mean any harm by that statement. She probably said that because of the joy she felt at being a mum.  But that statement has disheartened me. Do some of my friends pity me because I am not a mum, that I have not gone through the torture of childbirth, or that no children would call me 'mum'?

Do I feel I'm not 'complete' because I am not a mum? No, I don't.  I don't think I need to go through pregnancy, childbirth, stretchmarks(battlescars!) and being called a mum to feel 'complete'. 

To me, being a complete woman means I enjoy being a woman and am proud of the fact that I am a woman. I can cry and laugh, and whine and wail at whim, be a damsel in distress, wear pretty dress, play with make up, flirt with my eyes, act coy, change light bulbs, complain about being fat and not lose weight, drool at Edward in Twilight, dream of Mr Darcy... I'm a COMPLETE woman. 

This reminds me, I get really annoyed when friends welcome you to the Married Club or to the Mummy's Club.  ???     Some people think it's an upgrade. I think it's rude. When you are single, they ask you when you're going to have a boyfriend.  When you have a boyfriend, they want to know when you're getting married. When you finally find yourself a husband, they pressure you about children.  And when you think you're done because you have children, they now want to know when you're going to be a grandmother!!!  It's a neverending story, guys!  So STOP IT!!!! It's annoying!!!!  

Stop picking on friends who are single, unmarried or childless, people..... All in good time! It will all fall in place. What you want may not be what your friends want. Leave them alone!!!!!

April

April... I know it's only last month,.. but I have to think back what I did in April... and the only thing that came to mind was Hubby's absence and Visit to Jo's.

So with hubby hardly home in April, I went and visited Jo.  This time, we stayed away from shops..hehe which was a good thing cos everytime I go to her place, we go shopping and I always end up with a new pair of shoes and new clothes. Not that I didn't buy a pair of shoes, I did but the focus of this trip was going places. And because my problem is I am too busy enjoying myself looking at things that I forget to take pics... wakaka...

We went... drove to The Lake District. The silly sat nav took us through an ultra one lane winding and hilly road instead of through the villages for some reason. but it was very pretty!. That part of Uk is gorgeous.  I didn't take a pic cos I would have thrown up all over the car if I did.  But I did take pictures of Windermere when we went on the Boatride. 

Don let the sun deceive you. It was freezing and windy that day. We were frozen half way back despite the fact that we were all bundled up in our coats.

 

The yachts all docked there.  Only the rich can afford to live by the lake here!

 This is Windermere or what you would see when you are step off the boat.

These are gigantic swan. If you look at the top left of the pic, you'll see a couple on the bench having their lunch. Compare the size of that swan to them!  They were scary.

And here is a pic of Jo and me. My face is soooo ROUND and BIG compared to hers. hehe. You should have seen the other pics... sigh...

 And as is customary, I bought a pair of pumps!!!!(Ya, pumps! Dunno what came over me!) My first pair of pumps! We went to Lytham and walked around the town. It's a pretty and quiet town.  No, I didn't buy this green. I bought a pair of cream-coloured ones in this design.... because they didn't have my size in green... wahahahhaa.... This is my going to Sainsburys-Grocery-Shopping Shoes...which I haven't had much opportunity wearing in the cold. Hubby gave me a look when he saw it. lol...cos this just so isn't me. I had a hard time wearing it too cos it just feels and looks soooo weird. but it's soft and the rubber soles grip the floor well in case I decide to ski across the floor in Sainsburys.

I also made what I thought was a stunning cushion cover... hehe... I took the pattern off one of my magazines.  It was a Mother's Day pattern.  It was fun to make.

and this one is hubby's.

I also finally finished the covers of the other cushions in the lounge. hehe. I promised hubby I'd make cushion covers with this nice chinese brocade meaterial since Reading last year. Hubby chose the fabric from Fabricland when we still lived in Reading.  The porject got disrupted cos I stole half of it for my dress... hehe... and I finally made enough covers when I was in my cushion cover mode. aren't they pretty?

 And my featured piece of jewllery for April is.... this.  Dunno what to name it yet though. What do you think?

And lastly, I love this pic of hubby and me....  :-)

Oct Highlights

Let's see...

Visit to Jo's. I didn't want to stay home alone that week cos of the reactions people get when I tell them the block of apartment where I stay used to be a hospital. These people would joke about the unseen and the morgue and etc. Their stupid jokes didn't help me at all while I'm trying to get used to the place! So when Rick went away for a week, I went to Jo's and stayed away from these friends. Jo and the kids helped a lot cos after I came back, I wasn't pissing in my pants anymore. sigh.... but anyways, spending time at Jo's was great...not to mention the shopping. hahah

finished a crochet project. this is warmer than it looks. hmmm... it's black with pink flower buttons. the pink i used for my shawl. horrible lighting.

Baked a Japanese Cake according to the recipe Vic sent me. didn't line the bottom enough so water seeped in while it was baking but came out beautifully though a bit too moist. added more lemon cos the hubby likes lemony things but I didn't like it cos it was wayyyy too tart for me.

hmmm.... jewellery....here are some of the pieces I've made in Oct. Lighting in this country is horrible for photos.

and sewing... hahah made a winter coat... it's not that hard to make a coat...(dressmaking is easy if you get ready made patterns!)...just the amount of work!!! and of course the fabric i chose was beautiful to look at but a pain to work with! and obviously I made mistakes here and there and by the time it came to hemming it, I was wayyy too sick working on it. but overall, I thought it looked very well done! although from the pic, the back looks funny. Hubby assures me I did a good job though...

a dress before that...looks more like the primary school uniform! should have chosen a diff colour! Just as well, I have never worn one.

A dress for Chinese New Year assuming by then I can still fit in it! . This fabric...sigh... cost me £9.90 per metre. I needed 2m and I am a housewife with no income!!! sigh...

 And the grand finale!!! As I was piling on weight like there's no tomorrow... I have convinced myself to break my own rule and overcome my allergy to exercising and convinced the hubby I needed help. Tadaa!!! A cheap Cross Trainer from Argos. Putting it together was fun and tiring cos the hubby was away when it came. the first 2 weeks, I did an hour about 15km on average every other day. This past week, I'm doing 20 mins about 5km every morning. Bloody hard work if you ask me! I must be out of my mind! All this just so I won't get too many 'Geez! You've put on weight!' or 'OMG! You're SO fat now!' Hubby assures me I'm not fat and he loves me the way I am.. but then he's not going to complain if I have a fitter body, is he???

 

And Jo and the kids visited us and we had loads of fun but too much walking. Poor kids! and the hubby's been away for 3/4 of the month. That's it I think for Oct!...

Finished projects

My new card!!!

Here is an update on my finished projects the last few weeks...

This is one of Peng Peng's pressie.... Made her a pair of earrings you can see on her blog.

A pendant and a necklace I've been playing around with to match the earring on the top right for a friend.

A bracelet I learnt to weave with beads from Beejang's blog.

A set of silvery necklace and earrings for my Coriandr shop.

 

Tried crocheting with wire.

My new winter cap... a bit too big and my head looks ultra big in this!

And this dress!!! hahah.. Peng found me a lady giving away her old sewing machine so I had it a while back. So one day while the husband is away, I went to Fabricland and got myself a dress pattern and cloth to make it. After cutting the pattern out laboriously with my small scissors, I had to fix the sewing machine. Cos when the lady showed me all the knobs and things, she turned this and tweaked hat to show me it worked except for the tension spring. Something was wrong with the tension spring...anyways, can't complain cos she gave it to me for free. Her husband got her a new modern one. I spent hours trying to fix it and get the tension between the needle thread and bobbin thread right... Headache.... I think the spring needs to be changed..but it's still usable and VIOLA!...I made this dress... albeit it being a size 12....heheh I thought I was so fat by now, I'm a size 12....a bit of consolation to me, I'm still a 10 or possibly an 11 ...phew!... and i was so eager to finish it while summer was still here, I was too lazy to try it and fix it...so I'm sticking to the dress being a bit loose especially the bodice. It was supposed to be a strapless but I'm not well endowed enough to hold the dress, I made straps at the end...hehehe.. not bad bah kan.. I haven't touched a sewing machine since collage!

But I'm thinking kan...although I have lots of sewing projects to do and I even got material and patterns already!! hahha... but I'm thinking kan.. I still like making jewellery best cos I can be creative with it. I still love crochet and knitting and even subscribed to a magazine for it. But knitting and crochet take the longest. It takes forever for the project to look like what it's supposed to look like and even longer to finish! Sewing takes a hell lot of preparation but finishes fast. But I find the preparation most tedious. Maybe it's also due to my personality...hahah Nobody can accuse me of being organised and I don like planning either...

There's something about working with your hands and making something that is sooooo therapeutic and soothing! No wonder I haven't lost my temper in a while....heheh although the husband like sto think it's because of him...wakakaka...

Moving House

Yes, we are moving again... it's been a year already here and the lease to the place is up soon and so I asked the Hubby whether he wants to move or stay a month ago when the agents sent us a letter. Hubby, busy with work as usual, didn't even acknowledge me so I thought ok....maybe we'll stay...must remind him again to let the agent know...soon...

Then about 2 and a half weeks ago, when the hubby was free, I brought the matter up again. I said if we want to move, we have to let he agents know and find a place real quick. If we don move, we have to renew the lease. Hubby said let him think about it and started looking at houses in York...(which he does all the time anyways...places in South of France, KK, etc)...cos he likes York. So I looked as well and sent him pics to look at..again just for fun cos by then, I thought we were going to stay. That was a weekend.

Then all of a sudden on Monday I think, he told me to rate the places he has listed down that we have both liked in York. So I did. It didn't cross my mind that he was serious. Then he started calling the agents and making arrangements to view the places we just rated. on Thursday.. wow! I was a bit blur. That was when I realised we were going to move.

But me being me, life is hard!!!! By Wednesday, 3 out of the 6 we planned to view were taken.... On Thursday evening, we drove up thinking we'll book more when we get there. The moment we got out of Reading, it poured!!!! all the 4-hour-way up Leeds where we stayed overnight. At 5 am Friday, some idiot started knocking next door. I assume it's the wake call. It took them 8 mins to wake him up. Sigh.... by then I was awake and couldn't sleep again after that.. Don you just hate it when that happens? And breakfast was expensive and disappointing... Not a good start.

So we drove to York and got to the hotel at about 1030....sat at the lobby and made more calls for house viewings and waited to check in at 12  cos the hotel said it was ok. We deliberately chose a Friday cos it was a working day and hopefully it wouldn't be that jammed...hmmm... nope, it was the end of RaceDay... sigh jammed. and we couldn't see any more places we liked and the ones we liked were already taken... we were a bit depressed by then

At 12, the room wasn't ready yet so we had to leave our things in the car and go to our 1st viewing... fantastic place...so things were looking up. but it wasn't till Sat, we both agreed on the same place. phew! We paid the booking fee. so were happy. 15 mins later, the agent called. said they couldn't charge booking fee was all the rest(booking, deposit, etc.) are done thru another company. OK we had to walk back and refund our money. and wait till Monday fo rthe girl in charge of it to ring us. 

Come Monday morning, the girl rang us and told us that the company put the place up at 2 agents and now, we and another family is fighting for the place cos we both wanted the place at the same time.  so we had to rush home and fill in the application forms and email them to her immediately...Sigh...Imagine how annoyed we both were. Then we had to change our move in date 2 weeks earlier than we wanted just to get the place.... ok that done... after waiting for 2 hours, we finally have the place. Then for some reason, the company couldn't process Hubby's credit card!!! after the 3 time, hubby gave them another card....sigh! finally!!!!

Happily we went our agent at Reading to give notice that we are leaving.... nope,... it wasn't a month's notice...it was 2 months.... sigh... we thought were had to waste a whole month's rent to do both places!!!! Luckily, the landlord has agreed to put the place on the market earlier and if someone wants our place, we could leave next month... phew.... fingers crossed someone will take this place soon!!!! phew!!!!!

Neat Streak

Have you ever wondered where that pair of earrings is? or where that pendant is? or found a necklace that you forgot you had? I mean I remember and know exactly where my things are among my organised mess...at least I remember where the things I always wear are anyways.... hehehe... and about my organised mess...I know exactly where my things are, be they under the pile of papers or in the purple box or out in the open! or so I keep telling Hubby...hehe...well, I know where everything is until I start clearing up and putting things away!!! Putting things away never fails to amaze me because I can't find a single thing after that!!!!!

Anyways, back to what I was saying... hehe... I had a sudden inspiration of organising my earrings and my yarn collection that even Neat Freak Peng (sorry, hun!!!!) would be proud of!!!! Take a look at this!!!

hehe...I strung a piece of leftover chunky yarn(that Peng gave me long ago, thanx!!!) across the back of the shelf and hung my earrings in pairs on it....cuts out lots of time trying to sort earrings out! and it looks gorgeous and you can see everything at a glance and decide on that pair of matching earrings.  I'm still thinking of how to organise my pendants... and I keep making new pendants to add to my collection! And my collection of rings.. hmmm... but this must wait till the next inspiration hits me....

Note: must remember to post pics of new jewellery!!!

I mentioned organising my collection of yarn...  ... ... Ta Daa!!!!!

These are the balls of yarn that are not involved in any projects at the moment...hehe... This pic doesn't do it justice! It looks much nicer in my closet..hmmm..

Note: must take another pic of yarn!

See the shelf below my yarn? That shelf is dedicated to my nail things. Out of the pic on the right, the space is for my Craft and Scrapebooking things. And then there are shelves for my shoes...heheh I love this closet! It's my Treasure Trove.

Randomness

As I haven't blogged for so long, I thought I'd put in random pics of what's been going on since my last blog...

This is me drooling at the Rugby Sevens 23/05/10 at Twickenham with the guys. 

The largest gathering of superheros wor...sigh... was wondering why there were so many people dressed as superheros and characters from movies and animations...mad!!! but fun!

Next is the progress of my vegetables...sigh...while I'm still in UK, better try planting vegetables kan?

the biggest of my tomato plants...stupid aphids and flies have been attacking my baby tomato plants, the snails attacked them...sigh... tomatoes grow very quickly but is so susceptible to insect attacks! still, anyone want tomato plants??? I've still got lots!!!!

my sweet peas...some of the leaves look a bit yellow...wonder why?!?

Left : some of the red onions
Right : garlic

This is my potatoes but for obvious reasons, you can't see the tubers!!! Not sticking my hand in to check in case there are earthworms or slugs in the compost!!!

2nd batch of salad leaves. 1st batch got dug up by the stupid squirrel that also killed my sprouting rose bush and nearly killed my tomato and sweet pea plants. didn't realise until today at Yo!Sushi that you can eat baby salad leaves like this. tastes a bit too peppery for my liking though so will use for dinner garnish tonight on my meatloaf! hehe

hmmm...will blog more soon or I will have nothing left to blog about...since I have been ordered to rest my thumb by hubby, nothing really exciting has happened to me at home.  Oh! having thumb tendonitis is horrible cos you really have very limited movements since you can't do much without your thumb!